i was talkin to mom last night bout the dance n how much fun it was n she brought up aj i havnt seen him since the 8th grade anyways i hated him he made my life a livin hell n i guess he only did it cause he liked me he was just to scared to tell me.my mom said i should have asked him to goto the dance with me cause he was hopin i would ask him but i didnt i kinda feel bad cause my mom said hes matured alot n he doesnt act like a little kid anymore n he really wanted to go.so now i feel horrible bout not invitin him.grrr i never do anythin right :(

well keisha had her puppies last night she had 5 of them theyre all so cute.2 look like kiesha,2 look like kita n 1 is a mix of both.one of them had kitas tail all black with a white tip.billy was upset today so i tried to find out what was wrong with him turns out that he almost killed his brother last night i feel so upset for him cause hes a great person n hes havin alot of problems right now so im tryin everythin to make him feel better.i hope tomorrow he feels better.sanni n i are friends again but i dont think ill ever be able to trust her again. she lost my trust n never can get it back.i saw sams gerbils today they are so cute i get to hold them on saturday im not sure what 2 i want yet.im kinda hopin to get ones that have the fathers colorin but the mothers tail.haha kenny hes so great i luv him the little meany pushed me today cause he was blockin the stairs so i gave him a little shove to the side n said beep kenny beep then he came up behind me n pushed me n said beep beep.but i cant stay mad at him hes to cute.still tryin to find a date for the dinner dance i have to find one soon cause its commin up soon.

had some trouble gettin to sleep last night ive just got so much on my mind n its really startin to get to me.didnt goto school today i stayed home to help my mom cause shes tryin to quit smokin n she started today.at first she was a bitch but then she was better abit crazy tho she say the ups man he delivered some packages to ms.mallet and my mom started yellin at the window sayin that he gave her mail to ms.mallet n that ms.mallet was stealin her mail it was really fun i laughed so hard i cried.its gonna be abit hard cause i no shes gonna be really bitchy from nicoteen withdraws but i have faith in her i no she can do it.im really proud ofher for tryin to quit smokin n im gonna be right there supportin her the whole time.im gonna have to stay after for my math teacher again cause i missed a test today i just hope when i stay after for her matts not there again.i think keishas gonna be havin her puppies really soon.plus on sunday i get my gerbil.i cant wait till sunday.

last night i only had to babysit the 2 gurls cause nigel went to a party but i kinda lucked out a bit the gurls stayed up stairs n watched tv till it was time for them to goto bed.but of course they woke up in the middle of the night they both went to the bathroom in their pants.blah i hate this im tryin so hard to forget bout matt bout nothin works y did he have to stay after for the same teacher on the same day i had finally pushed all my emotions away but as soon as i saw him they all came rushin back n now i cant stop thinkin bout him.grrrr i hate this but im nopt givin up if i can push my emotions away once i can sure as hell do it again i just have to keep my mind focused on other things.i can do this i no i can.

well i thought i was over matt but man was i dead wrong i had to stay after school yeasterday for my math teacher n matt was stayin after for the same teacher i walked in the room n saw him n all my emotions came runnin back.i havnt really felt anythin for him cause ive avoided him but i didnt no he was gonna be there or i would have never stayed after.i was doin so good i was happy n wasnt thinkin bout him or anythin but i saw him n fell in luv all over again.i dont wanna luv him cause luvin him means pain for me n i cant deal with anymore pain in my life right now im already way to stressed out n majorly depressed n i cant deal with anymore.hopfully if i avoid him for awhile again n dont end up runnin into him again my emotions will hide away n i wont have to worry bout them.